"My dog is really clingy at home, he follows me everywhere"
Your dog is a social animal, which means that he seeks proximity to the individuals who are in the same home, with whom he feels trust and safety. Following you everywhere indicates his interest in your presence and your activities. In no way does this predict that he has or will have separation anxiety. Boby, my dog/friend when I was a teenager, was likely to follow me in every rooms, yes, e-ve-ry. And yet, when I left for school or somewhere else, he could stay serenely on his own.
"My dog is independent at home"
The fact that your dog is able to be autonomous at home or that he does not follow you everywhere does not indicate that he does not know where you are. The hearing abilities of dogs allow them to fully locate you in an environment, even without being near you. Your dog may appreciate your presence, your company nearby, without necessarily being a big fan of interactions. That being said, it is important to distinguish between not interacting and feeling lonely.
"I give my dog ​​attention, so he has separation anxiety"
You can play, cuddle, pet, teach tricks to your dog, speak to him constantly, sleep with him, watch television with him on your lap, and yet he would not suffer from separation anxiety.
You could have an aloof relationship, you and your dog could be essentially room-mates, and yet he would suffer from separation anxiety.
Several cases have allowed to determine that the cause is undetermined. It is supposed to be genetic. What is certain is that dogs who were socialized, familiarized, coming from the same litter, can be free from it, apart one. What you exchange with your dog is quality time. That can be soothing as well for him. If he shows he stresses out when you are leaving, and, you are stressed as well, he may be reacting to your stress, not to a possible separation anxiety.
"I won't comfort him"
It is important to keep it in mind that the behaviors expressed by your dog reveal a state of panic. Neither a whim nor revenge. Some anxiety has settled in him when he sees you getting ready, which means that his organism reacts as if your preparation to leave the place and leave him alone had the same value of danger as a lion opening his mouth on his throat. Then he is then not able to measure that the situation does not actually represent a danger for him. Reassuring him can calm him down. He cannot learn to cry in order to get you return more quickly to this context to play after; he can learn that crying puts an end to his ordeal more quickly and that he can then let his negative stress go.
"Many people tell me to ignore him, that he will get over it, that he will get used to it"
Exposing your dog to being alone is not enough for him to stop responding to it. It is not an element that generates a neutral response from him. He reacts to it with anxiety, with states of panic. A dog that howls to death, that scratches the doors until his pads bleed, that pees on himself several minutes before you leave, that has diarrhea when he is alone, that jumps out of a window, etc., does not move on because he is exposed to it even more often. Imagine a loved one, or yourself, having an intense fear (spiders, crowds, narrow spaces, etc.); if I lock a claustrophobic person in an elevator barely wider than him, and broken down, will he end up feeling good? If the dog suffering from separation anxiety stops having intense reactions, you may see him have then only a few reactions in general: he was unable to come out of his torpor and no one came to help him.
"I give him treats before I leave"
If your dog needs your departure to be ritualized in order to accept it, this creates a desire for you to leave in order to obtain something pleasant.
If your dog suffers from separation anxiety, the treats left are a distraction. They divert him from realizing that you are leaving; they deceive him about your action. He may eat them and then produce the stress behaviors related to separation. He may ignore them because his stress is so high that his body's priority is not to eat.
The risk with treats is that they create an additional cue, just like your shoes and keys, as to your absence.
"I won't medicate my dog"
Depending on the level of anxiety of your dog, the behaviors he makes, his ability to progress, his resilience, being also accompanied by a veterinarian (potentially a behaviorist) will only benefit the protocol. Remember that your dog is then in a state of panic, that his brain is not able to think. "I'm alone, where’s the help against for thiiiiiiis! 😱ðŸ˜". Medication, recommended, prescribed and followed only by a veterinarian, can be an asset to calm your dog and ensure that he is able to calmly apprehend what is being put in place. Like a crutch for him to (re-)learn to walk.
"I don't understand: he was making progress but seems to be stagnating or regressing"
Several parameters need to be considered in your dog's evolution when coping with separation: whether he's receiving medication to alleviate his anxiety; whether he's stimulated by surrounding noises, whether you're present or not; whether he's able to recover easily from a moment of excitement or frustration; whether he's sick, occasionally or chronically; whether you show signs of stress when you leave; whether you draw his attention when you leave; whether his needs were met before your absence (peeing, pooping, eating, socializing); whether you're absent in spite of the protocol; whether you've made adjustments or rearrangements in or around your home (moved the furniture, changes in your schedule, adding a gate to your garden, or had a wall built to separate you from the elevator).
When these elements are identified, it's possible to better adjust the protocol and your daily routine to ensure your dog continues to progress.
"I won't train my dog on other things"
Actually, desensitizing your dog to separation may not be the only thing to work on. As your dog progresses, he may reveal frustration at not being with you, reactions to the presence of neighbors, confusion and boredom because he's unable to get busy by himself, and emotional fluctuations related to the activities he does during the day.
Endowing your dog with various skills, in addition to helping him with his anxiety, ensures he'll be better able to cope with situations without revealing other issues.
"I won't train my dog on other things"
Actually, desensitizing your dog to separation may not be the only thing to work on. As your dog progresses, he may reveal frustration at not being with you, reactions to the presence of neighbors, confusion and boredom because he's unable to get busy by himself, and emotional fluctuations related to the activities he does during the day.
Endowing your dog with various skills, in addition to helping him with his anxiety, ensures he'll be better able to cope with situations without revealing other issues.
"Why won't I leave him alone anymore during the protocol"
When you begin the desensitization protocol, when you start sessions so that your dog no longer perceives your departure rituals as anxiety-triggering, when you start a program so that your dog's separation is nothing more than a time of rest for him (and for you!), you are asked to commit (especially to him) to ensuring that he is never alone again. The point is to prevent that, on one hand, he is gradually inspires him with a feeling of relaxation and security and on the other hand he still feels panicky in the same situations. It's like adding water to a fire while blowing on the embers. The more he feels consistency in his emotions, the more they can be positively anchored.
"Why it does not work with another kind of leaving"
A dog who suffers from separation anxiety is very often a dog who loves his routine a lot. During the protocol, he will be desensitized to a certain number of leaving: individual departures, group departures, departures with objects, etc.
If there are three humans in the household and one of the members is not available during the sessions, the dog is likely to have difficulties in the future seeing this one leave without experiencing stress, or being included in the departure of one or both of the other two.
If you usually leave with a backpack, and the protocol has included this bag, but your dog exceptionally sees you leaving with a huge trash can or bins, his feelings of insecurity regarding this bag or bins have not been deactivated.
The protocol has not failed ; your dog has not regressed. He just needs to understand that this type of leaving is as undramatic as the others, and does not create more danger for him.